when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
