Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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