let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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