I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
