I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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