You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My dick has a subreddit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
