I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
