I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
