Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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