it was like his penis was on wheels.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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