i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
