I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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