if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I made him laugh his dick is mine
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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