After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize