a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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