there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
