Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
