omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I love you. Go after that dick
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
