he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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