Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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