Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've blown a few things in my day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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