White coat. Heels.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
