Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize