Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize