I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
