i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
