"it" just moved
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
