how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
