Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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