then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
