If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
