Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize