Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
