If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
