this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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