Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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