Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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