Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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