Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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