ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
