So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
