I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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