I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
