i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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