i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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