so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
