I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
