No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
