Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
