He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think your dad took our porno
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize