she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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