Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
