What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
