what day is it and did you see me today?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
