do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
