Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
