Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize