how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
